Do you believe in fate? It has been a question I have always found myself asking. I am sure like me, you have experienced times in your life where you question whether that particular amazing or saddening moment actually happened for a reason and if things in life are already mapped out for us. I have had a whirlwind of a life and I am only twenty-four. My mum who was my dearest and closest confident and friend, died when I was only twenty-one and my parents divorced when I was eleven. Both events completely broke my heart. Forever I have been looking up to the heavens, asking whoever may be listening, ‘why?’
I will never understand why the kindest, strongest and most beautiful woman I have ever met was taken from us so early. It breaks my heart every day that my lovely mum is gone, and part of me wishes that someone could answer why such terrible, heartwrenching things can happen in life and whether there was actually a reason behind this happening or not. Does the answer simply come down to it being our fate? Fate or not, I think a lot of us believe we make our own marks on life, as the thought of our decisions being uncontrollable and out of our hands, is a pretty frightening concept! That being said, I am a believer that things can happen for a reason. I don’t necessarily believe that absolutely everything is decided for us by ‘God,’ but at least that some things are just meant to be, which I personally find comforting.
I am a believer that the most difficult moments in life can teach you amazing things about yourself that you never even knew existed, and that ultimately this is why they happen in the first place. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was eleven years old. What came from this was a life-changing operation of a double mastectomy and the breakdown of her marriage. Her marriage was something she cherished above everything, she absolutely adored my father. At first, mum never understood why life had done this to her. One evening I even heard her cry out ‘I am a good person, I don’t deserve this.‘ But years later she sat down with me and told me that she was glad of the dark times she had experienced. Surprised at this, I asked her ‘why?’ and she explained that she had gained independence and had learnt what it was like to be alone and that even though this had been incredibly frightening, she was now a better and stronger person for it. My mum shone on her own and showed the world that even when life knocks you down to the lowest points, you can still lift yourself up and carry on and that you might even have good things come from it.
The most prominent memory that I have of my mum that I can reflect on was when I was eleven. She was driving my siblings and I to the Trafford Centre, a large shopping centre in Manchester. Mum was absolutely terrified at the thought of getting lost and halfway there had to stop the car and give herself a chance to breathe. My father had always been the one in the driving seat, the one who had done everything for her. In that moment I saw a lady who was so fearful of doing things on her own grow into someone that knew she could do anything if she put her mind to it. Mum stopped being frightened. She fought, and to this day I will always thank whoever may be responsible, if it is God or some other higher power, for giving her the chance to become the amazing, strong woman that I will always remember her to be.
I guess none of us will ever really know if the good and the bad actually happen for a reason. In my mum’s case, I can definitely say that good things came from the bad, as she ultimately became a better person. But in reality, we will never know if fate is a real concept or not. It all comes down to our own individual beliefs. I like to think that you can be in the ‘right place at the right time,‘ and that people are put in your lives for different reasons. If you are an avid reader of my blogs you will know that I was unemployed for a while, I wanted to find my purpose and pursue the right job for me. During this time I found myself fearful of what the future held. Would I simply end up as unhappy as I was previously? Would I forever be alone? So many questions swarmed my brain and I have to say I grew very anxious. However, as life carried on, I found more comfort. I actively did things that I knew would bring me more happiness, such as finding a new flat and moving out from a place I had hated and surrounding myself with the people that I love. My unemployment actually brought me a lot of joy! I met amazing people, heard incredible stories and even met my boyfriend, something and I can definitely say I did not expect to happen, as for a long time I had accepted that I could be content on my own. This time I believe helped me grow as a person and I can now safely say that I know what I want from life! Whether all of those encounters be down to fate or not, I will never know. But what I can say is I am extremely grateful for them.
I am finally in a place where I am excited about what the future holds. I wonder who and what will happen next in my life and I can quite comfortably say that I do believe in fate. I think that the big events in our lives are predestined. Not the small everyday events, but fate has a role in mapping out the challenges and victories that we face. We just have to hope for good fortune and put our trust in the fact that things happen for a reason. Whether they be good or bad, they are there to help shape us and teach us.